In the midst of the fast paced action of the first couple weeks of this trip, I struggle to completely process what God has been doing during this time. Don’t get me wrong, I believe, completely, that God has done a great work through this trip, and by His grace, we were able to used as vessels for His glory. My struggles have been finding time to really sit and meditate on what God has been revealing to us, the team, and to myself. Because of how amazing our God is, we have had several amazing experiences during this trip where we have seen certain things happen in ways that only God could work.
Certain obstacles have come up to add to my struggle. This time my conflicts were internal. I have been reminded, time after time during this trip that I cannot consider myself a “mature Christian”. No matter how many times I have experienced missions and ministry, I can never be fully prepared for what God will test me with, because during these times, God only expects the best from His people.
Once again, I have proven unworthy, because of a prideful perception of who I was.
With this confession I encourage those who are reading who feel called to ministry or missions to never overestimate yourself, to humble yourselves COMPLETELY before God before pursuing His call to action. And it all starts with being honest with yourself. Being real with yourself, accepting the fact that we are never good enough, is the first step towards humility with God.
With this said, I give all glory and honor to God for the amazing work he has done through this trip. He has prevailed in every situation and once again I witnessed broken hearts and lives changed for Christ. Although the enemy tried to take me down from the inside, the Lord used my struggle for good, allowing me to be used completely for His purpose.